IPSEA
Independent Provider of Special Education Advice (IPSEA) offers free and independent legally based education advice to parents of children with SEND. They also provide training on the SEND legal framework to parents and carers.
Information & advice
School avoidance and ADHD
Seeing your child struggle with going to school can feel upsetting and confusing. For parents of children with ADHD, this can be especially tough, as school avoidance is often linked to the unique traits of ADHD.
This guide is here to help you understand what might be happening and share practical strategies and resources to support your child and work alongside their school to find solutions together.
Understanding school avoidance
Many parents hear the term school refusal. However, this can feel unhelpful, as it suggests your child is choosing not to go. In reality, children and young people with ADHD want to attend school, it’s just that certain parts of the experience feel extremely challenging.
School avoidance is when a child or young person finds going to school emotionally difficult or overwhelming, and may stay home as a way of coping with that stress. That’s why we use terms like school avoidance or Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA), which focus on the underlying reasons, rather than on behaviour.
Understanding the challenges at school
School is a place full of expectations and stimuli, which can be overwhelming for a child or young person with ADHD. The very traits that define ADHD, like difficulty focusing, struggling to follow instructions, and often being very energetic can make spending hours in a classroom challenging and exhausting.
Other factors that can make a child hesitant or anxious about going to school may include:
- Anxiety and sensory sensitivities: School can be a source of significant anxiety, whether it’s the pressure of academic work or social situations. For many children and young people with ADHD, sensory sensitivities can make things like loud noises, bright lights, and crowded corridors feel overwhelming and distressing.
- Peer relationships and bullying: Social interactions can be difficult to navigate. Challenges with impulsivity and social cues can sometimes lead to peer rejection or even bullying, making school feel like an unsafe and stressful place.
- Academic pressures and learning differences: If your child feels they can’t keep up with lessons or are repeatedly told off for not concentrating, this can damage confidence and create fear of failure.
The ‘why’ behind school avoidance
School avoidance is often a signal that your child is struggling and may be their way of communicating that something feels too difficult or overwhelming. Identifying and understanding the specific triggers, whether they are environmental (noise, crowds), social (peers), or academic (a difficult subject), can really help in finding the right support for them.
Emotional regulation can also play a big part in school avoidance. Children and young people with ADHD may struggle to manage strong feelings like frustration, shame, or anxiety, and these emotions can make the idea of going to school feel overwhelming. This is often referred to as Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA), which describes when a child or young person avoids school due to emotional distress rather than choice.
Exploring your child’s worries
It can be difficult for children and young people to explain why school feels hard. Asking direct questions like “Why don’t you want to go?” may not always help. Instead, try to gently explore what might be behind their worries.
You could:
- Create a trigger map with your child. Write “school” in the middle, then together list the things that feel most difficult (for example: noise, lessons, friendships).
- Use drawing, stories, or role-play to help your child express their feelings.
- Check in with teachers to see if they’ve noticed specific patterns or situations.
Working with the school
Your child’s school should be your partner in finding solutions. Building a positive relationship with teachers and the SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) can make a big difference.
It can be helpful to request a meeting with the SENCO, class teacher or pastoral lead to discuss reasonable adjustments that could make a huge difference in your child’s day-to-day school experience.
Possible adjustments could include:
- A quiet space your child can go to when overwhelmed
- Regular movement breaks to release energy
- Shorter tasks or alternative ways of showing their learning
- Support with transitions between classes or activities
Need guidance on requesting a school meeting? Check out our step-by-step School Meetings Guide.
EHCPs
It’s also important to know your child’s educational rights. Children and young people with ADHD or other special educational needs may be entitled to extra support through an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP). An EHCP is a legal document that outlines your child’s needs, the support they should receive, and how the school will help them access education successfully.
If you already have an EHCP, it would be worth mentioning school avoidance to your SENCO and also at your next EHCP review, so that adjustments can be made.
Strategies to support your child
While working with the school, there are also ways you can support your child at home:
Build positive morning and school routines
A predictable structure can reduce stress. Preparing school bags, clothes and timetables the night before can help mornings feel smoother.
Prepare your child for transitions
Let your child know what to expect and talk through any upcoming changes in their schedule to minimise stress. Many schools offer transition days to help children move to a new year group or classroom. These are great opportunities to meet new teachers, explore the classroom layout, and ease any worries before the school year starts. Secondary schools often offer transition days from Year 6 to Year 7; if your school doesn’t, it may be worth asking if this could be arranged.
Celebrate small steps
Praise every effort, even if your child only manages part of the morning routine, small wins build confidence.
Support emotional regulation at home
Practice calming strategies together, such as deep breathing or mindfulness, so your child has tools to manage big feelings when they arise. Our Young People’s Hub offers a range of free calming activities – click here to explore.
Where to get support
You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. If your child’s difficulties with school are affecting their wellbeing, it can be helpful to speak with your GP. They can give medical advice and, if needed, refer your child to specialist services such as Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).
Alongside professional medical support, there are also organisations that can offer practical help and guidance:
SENDIAS services
We provide SENDIAS (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information, Advice and Support) services in several regional areas. Our support is free, impartial, and confidential, offering guidance to families of children and young people with SEND.
We’re here to help you understand your rights, navigate the SEND system, and support you through important decisions about education, health, and care.
You can also find your local SENDIAS service via your local authority’s local offer page.
Useful links
Not Fine in School
A parent- and carer-led organisation that provides information and practical support for families whose children are finding school difficult.
ADHD UK Parent Network
ADHD UK offers a great range of parent networks, giving you the chance to connect with other parents who truly understand your journey.
EHCP process
Find out more about the EHCP process; requesting an EHC assessment, creating an EHC plan and disagreeing with a decision.